*SORRY*


Sorry I haven't been on my blog much, I'm moving definitely to my livejournal.

It's easier, even if I like the ability to do my own layout better on blogger.

I'm not giving up my blog, I just won't update it as much.

Till then!

Shadow Livejournal

+ Shadow used her laptop at 1:06 AM + +

 
*NOTHING MUCH TO SAY*


Except that I've been mostly using my livejournal now. I fear this blog may won't be as updated as usual because of this. Or else I will use for my personal life record and keep my anime insanity for my livejournal. *shrugs*

Anyway I received my Saint Seiya yaoi doujinshi (I guess I can still talk about that here ^^). It was KanonxSaga instead of SagaxKanon as I thought, but since I paid for them I still read them. And it wasn't so bad actually. I love the pretty pictures and when you have twins you can pretend.

On the side note a friend of my dad's moved after his divorce with his wife and now his daughter doesn't have any thing left. And she is 6 years old. O_o Poor girl, my mother and I went through my old toys to find something for her. I was happy to find I still had a doll, doll house, a few plushie and pencils for her to play with. My dad is going to give it all to his friend next time he sees him.

How can life be that harsh on a child who doesn't understand what's going on around her?

current song: Beautiful Morning - Ace of Base

+ Shadow used her laptop at 12:58 AM + +

 
*NEWS*


I'm back. ^^ Sorry for not updating my blog sooner but I was busy on my lj.

So let's see the little happening, newsflash style:

1) Came back from my trip to Bretagne to find a new house to move in. Found a wonderful house, style "longère". It's an old house from 1910 with a garden of 900m², 4 rooms, 1 living-room, 1 kitchen, 2 bathrooms, 1 basement and 1 attic. The bliss. It was pure luck since we were going to rent another house, but the guy deleted our contract because we "asked too many questions", for a unifinished house! 0_0 Anway this one is much better and I have my own wing in the house! We are moving in the middle of June so right now it's kind of crazy with all the boxes everywhere. XD

2) Write a new Saint Seiya fic : Awaiting Reprisal. It's yaoi, dark, lemon and all this good stuff.

3) Made a bunch of new oekaki uploaded on my deviantArt account: oekaki 1 - oekaki 2

4) Won my first yahoo japan auctions with Masamichi! I won 2 Saint Seiya SagaxKanon doujinshi that I'm waiting for impatiently since they were shipped yesterday. *swoons* Special thanks to Sagakure for convincing me to try it!

5) Sariel got his new face up by my wonderful friend dark_ange! *_* Now he is perfect, such a sweet/gothic look!! Awww!! ^^ Just check my doll's site Gentleness for his photos.

6) I received Nadenka, my new AngelRegion Glory Angel Ren girl MSD! She is so lovely... photos up on Gentleness.

current song: Jerk It Out - Caesars

+ Shadow used her laptop at 10:53 AM + +

 
*UPDATE*


Just a quick update since I won't be online for the next two weeks starting tomorrow so please excuse the 'newsflash' style:

- have upload new Kanon pics up on my deviantArt account.

- am impatiently waiting for Glory Angel Ren girl ebay auction to finish.

- have changed the whole background of my dolls to fit in my hopefully future GA Ren and the soon to be *cross fingers* depart of Sae. This site was especially helpfull: Angels names

- got news that my SS artbooks and SS wallscroll were shipped. Am waiting as well for a top for Sariel. Realise I need more wigs and eyes for my dolls.

I'm leaving tomorrow with my dad for two weeks to look for a new home to live in once we leave Alsace for Bretagne. I will have the opportunity to meet my friend dark_angel who will do a new face up for Sariel. I can't wait!

Well that's all for now.

current song: Silver Strand - The Corrs

+ Shadow used her laptop at 11:23 AM + +

 
*GOT IT!*


I received today my Saint Seiya clock!! @_@ I'm so happy!! It's a great goodie/item for any Saint Seiya fan. It's pretty and useful (it is a working clock, even if I'm stating the obvious) and I was dieing to get a watch like this one. My parents were planning to get me one for my birthday, now it won't be necessary. ^__^

Beside the seller was nice and fast in shipping my item.

It totally made my day.

Thank you ebay and fubaba368.







current song: Lone Night - The Corrs

+ Shadow used her laptop at 12:55 PM + +

 
*...*


I'm *this* fucking close to having a nervous breakdown.

I can't stand my mother anymore.I CAN'T. She is driving me insane with the stupdiest things. Today she insist on putting my make up for me and I left almost in tears.

I hate people closing in on me and getting physically close to me. It made me feel claustrophobic and she is doing it EVERY SINGLE TIMES. She just has to hang over me like I'm a fricking doll. For God's sake just leave me alone!

I know it may sound mean from me but she is trully "choking" me.

She just ruined my day, right when I was all happy to have won a Saint Seiya pocket clock, the "sacred saga" artbooks and a SS wallscroll on ebay.

I tried to calm down by drawing. I'm just on edge and I have to study for my exam on monday.

Shoot me, now.







current song: Gundam Wing Destiny Ending song

+ Shadow used her laptop at 1:43 PM + +

 
*@_@*


I finally got my hands on Metal Gear Solid 3 : Snake Eater.

Man that was a blast. This game is really great, there is no other words. The whole hiding/surviving concept is really cool and I enjoyed it immensely. As usual Hideo Kojima didn't disappoint us.

The intro really surprised me and blow me away with its old school style (for a second I thought I was watching an old James Bond or Chapeau Melon et Bottes de Cuir), but it fit perfectly. The game deserve a 19/20. My favorite part: playing sniper in the boss battle vs The End.

My only peeve was Eva. Because frankly, did we really need to see a half naked slutty female spy shoving her fake boobs in our face all the time?

What a shame. *shakes head*

Now what I'm waiting for: my birthday to receive a GameCube so I can buy MGS : The Twin Snakes. Because I want to play MGS1 with MGS2 graphics. Never mind that I already have MGS1 for PS1.

What I'm looking forward to buy on ebay: Saint Seiya artbook Sacred Saga. Because we all need to see our favorite boys as girls in an official (or at least semi official) artbook.





current song: Treat Me Like A Woman - Lisa Stansfield

+ Shadow used her laptop at 11:40 PM + +

 
*EPISODE G*


Some of you may have heard of Episode G already, the rather controversial (for the fans that is) gaiden version of Saint Seiya by Okada.

French fans are already divided over this new Saint Seiya Episode G, which is up to volume 3 in France and up to volume 4 (or is it 5?) in Japan.

Of course Okada's style is radically different but who cares? We finally get to see more of the Gold Saints. That's all I care about.

I just wished Okada would add Kanon in there somewhere. I can only dream.

As for now I'm keeping my judgement, volume 1 and 2 didn't really catch me (except the intro chapter of volume 1 with Saga's "possession" and attempt on Athena's life, in full color! absolute bliss... *sighs*) but I enjoyed volume 3 that I actually bought.



I really love the new Saga. *heart heart*

Shadow - on hunt for scans

current song: Blue Dream Instrumental - Saint Seiya soundtrack

+ Shadow used her laptop at 2:06 PM + +

 
*UPDATING THE STATS*


Just a quick little update on the latest happening.

I'm finally done with one big thing that was bothering me: I updated Scar Tissue and I changed its layout. I'm using a Silent Hill pic now but I made my own layout.

I wanted to have my blog and my sites all done by me for a change and I'm satisfied with the result. Anyway with all the pages I had it took me the whole afternoon to change this monster. 0_0 But At least it is DONE! Over, finished!

I took the opportunity to upload all my Saint Seiya artwork on my site as well as my new fic: Reflection. It is both funny and angsty and revolve around our favorite twins' relationship, I mean Saga and Kanon. Beware it is lemony and twincest!

It still amaze me how much I draw in the last month. I think I produced 2/3 of my Ronin art production (over 5 years) in 2 months. @_@ I'm feeling dizzy...

----

Totally out of the blue: my laptop is giving me some troubles. I had to take out my external disk so I have to work on a spare one. Not the best to work but I'm managing. I didn't have to bring it to the store yet.

----

Also I'm starting to get tired of my country. Today it seem half of the country was in the streets to protest against nothing and everything. *rolls eyes* French people can't deal with anything without getting down into the streets it seems.

It is really pointless on some points, like the EU constitutional treaty . We need it, there is no denying it. I read in the newspaper that even the USA needed us to be strong so get over it already.

----

Funny stuff I found today here:

New kids on the blog

Belle de Jour, whose online diary of life as a call girl hit the headlines recently, isn't alone - thousands have found a voice on the net. From the mundane to the thrilling, the blogging phenomenon has produced some of today's most innovative and engaging writing. So how did we discover our inner Samuel Pepys?

Simon Garfield
Sunday April 4, 2004
The Observer

'This is one about my son,' Lynn Gomm said as she spellchecked another portion of her life in Stoke-on-Trent. 'He's 14 and has Asperger's syndrome. He's not expected to do that much around the house, but his only chore is to empty all the small bins into a big black sack, tie it up and put it out. He's supposed to do it immediately after he's had his dinner, but often he might say, "I'll do it later." Yesterday, I confiscated a new computer game he's just bought with his pocket money and he's very unhappy. So I've just blogged about it.'
Gomm clicked on publish and save and checked to see if her entry had been uploaded on her blog for the world to read. 'There it is!' she said. In part, it read: 'It has been confiscated. It is an untouchable. And this outcome is non-negotiable. He is distraught [so he says]. He has begged, coerced, sought help from fellow siblings, offered money, been nice, been not so nice, cried, pleaded, attempted reparation, sulked, moaned and finally wished he were dead. I am immovable on the subject.'

Lynn Gomm is 43 and is not Belle de Jour, the north London Jewish call-girl blogger who may or may not be a man, and may or may not be a minor novelist. Like most bloggers, Gomm is extremely bored with Belle de Jour and the attention she has attracted, to the point where her own blog now sports a little rectangular logo with the phrase 'BdJ - I Don't Care'. Gomm hosts the Blogging Brits web-ring that contains more than 600 other bloggers who also may or may not be Belle de Jour. Thankfully, most of them are not. Instead, they are people who write some of the most engaging, trivial, thoughtful, rambling, reactionary, self-obsessed and shamelessly disturbing material of the present day.

If you want to know what ordinary, literate and computer-savvy people are thinking and doing today, you can wait an age for the mythical great British novel or you can speak to a random sample of strangers on the phone, but it's simpler to log on to the UK Blogs Aggregator to find that last Thursday between 9am and 11am, 66 people had updated their blogs with recent news. These included the sites Rogue Semiotics, funkypancake, holygoat, the Coffee Grounds, Foe Romeo, Linkmachinego, My Deep Thoughts and Memetank. Among them you could find observations on loud phone users on trains, the Today programme's April Fool, the new Batman film and the killings in Fallujah ('Why are these people being called "defence contractors" and not mercenaries?').

And then there is Lynn Gomm's site, Bacon, Cheese and Oatcakes, updated most days from the small extension overlooking her garden. Her blog contains emotional entries about her current state of mind and thoughts about her work, family and home. I visited her at the beginning of March and soon became aware that it is difficult to enter a blogger's life without also appearing in their blog. My arrival in Stoke was anticipated with some trepidation: 'I find I'm not even vaguely prepared for his arrival,' Lynn Gomm wrote for her readers under her nom-de-blog 'Moi'.

'Wanting to show at least a tidy house, I had hoped to do a bit of polishing around the place. However, a couple of family crises have left me seriously behind schedule and I don't think I'm going to manage it. Do you think he'd notice if I sprayed a bit of furniture polish around and kept the lighting low?'

One reader of her blog then left the comment: 'Watch you blogging? Isn't that a bit bizarre? Maybe it's just me but when I blog I sit, type and stare into space quite a lot ... is this what The Observer wants to observe?' After I had left, Lynn blogged that the interview went well and that she thought I looked a bit like Louis Theroux.

Six days later, she typed the following entry under the heading 'It's Been a Long Road': 'Emotionally I'm just too exhausted to write the whole gamut of what's been happening regarding Son #2 and his Asperger's diagnosis. Basically, it's been 10 years of fighting, crying, pleading, arguing, pushing, cajoling, screaming and begging to get someone to take us seriously and give him the help, support and treatment he needs. Ten long, stressful and exhausting years. Today, we finally heard someone say that she is convinced that he does, indeed, have Asperger's syndrome. All I could do was cry.

'I cried for each time a teacher labelled him as lazy, stupid and defiant.

'I cried for each time he spent hours and hours pacing up and down because his routine had been changed.

'I cried for each time I had a school report that had not even one good word to say about him on it.

'I cried for each time he was bullied by his peers because he was "different".

'I cried even more for each time the teachers said it was his own fault.

'I cried for every birthday when no matter how many I invited to his party, no one showed up.

'I cried for every time he asked me why no one liked him.

'I cried for each time he sat, frustrated, in his classroom because he didn't understand what he was doing.

'I cried for the time he was beaten in the school playground and the parents of the perpetrators said that he'd provoked the attack.

'I cried for the year he was school-phobic and could barely set foot out of the house.

'I cried and cried and cried.

'He's now being referred, and is on the waiting list for the specialist autism unit in Birmingham.

'Please, let this be an end and a beginning. He deserves that much.'

The phrase 'blog' is an abbreviation of web log and is best defined as a frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and web links. It may combine diary, rant, noticeboard, photo gallery and CD playlists. It may be simple black-on-white page of text or the text may be the excuse for the graphic design. There are no rules to blogging, but most tend to contain lists of other favourite blogs, and often a facility for the reader to comment on what they have just read.

For some, the blog is the easiest way for family and friends to keep in touch. Parents discover more about their children through the surreptitious reading of their blogs than over the dinner table. Inevitably, there are 'adult' blogs. At the last count, the website Technorati had tracked 1,944,106 unique weblogs in the world, and there is only one theme common to all: they are all about ego, about wanting to be heard.

Along with pornography and vain attempts to secure tickets for this year's Glastonbury, it seems that blogging is what the internet was invented for. Discovering that initial great chain of blog links is comparable with the excitement of going online for the first time - the joy of unlimited possibilities.

Reality dawns in much the same way - there is as much bad stuff out there as good. Those already bored with the phenomenon - particularly the techies who started blogging years ago as a way of sharing boring stuff about computer code - claim that the golden days of blogging are over, that what passes for blogging nowadays is the most banal wash-up of aimless lives, millions of pages slowing the internet and clogging Google.

What they really don't like is that publishing on the internet is not just for geeks any more. This means that you can work in a call centre taking phone orders for ridiculous gadgets and tell the world about it as each call ends. Last Tuesday, the blogger known as Call Centre Confidential received a complaint from a customer: 'It's cheap. It's nasty. I don't know how you have the nerve to sell such shoddy workmanship.' Our hero writes that he resisted the urge to reply: 'What did you really expect when you ordered the "Fifties Style Television [with space for a DVD player and VCR]"? Chippendale?'

Blogs have been around for more than a decade, but we used to know them as home pages. Home pages marked the democratisation of the worldwide web, but they were a struggle to maintain and usually a struggle to read. Conceived with the spirit of enterprise and a fat manual on hypertext mark-up language (html), many homepages progressed little beyond a scanned photograph of the family pet and a dead link to a sci-fi convention.

By the time digital cameras and publishing software became affordable, there was a new game in town. The blog came of age five years ago with the emergence of blogger.com and LiveJournal.com - two publishing sites from where even the most technobasic could unburden their thoughts within a simple template and then update with one mouse click.

Suddenly, everyone was Pepys. You could print your journal, your complaints about the phone company, your Osama jokes, and your links to politically agreeable sites in one entry; as with the mass-observation social science research organisation of the 1930s, we had 'an anthropology of ourselves'.

An alternative journalism sprang up and the news agenda shifted a little from the one imposed by the traditional media to whatever was hot in the blogosphere. In the United States, criticism of Bush and the war in Iraq was solidified in weblogs long before the mass media risked being 'unpatriotic', while in Iraq, Salam Pax, the pseudonymous gay Baghdad Blogger, maintained a powerful insider's voice throughout the conflict. As John Naughton noted of blogging in The Observer last year: 'Something really serious is afoot: the net has once again demonstrated its capacity to unleash disruptive innovation on a complacent establishment.'

Two weeks ago, the search for 'blog' on Google yielded 28,600,000 results; last Thursday, it was 29,700,000. The search will also throw up a large choice of commercial sites keen to help you and themselves exploit the blogging phenomenon. There is vivablog.com, motime.com, squarespace.com, 10QuickSteps.com and Blogging.Help-for-Me.com, all promising the easiest way to get your blog online and software to improve its design. Most of them come free, but at a price: until you learn to hide it with clever graphics, your new blog will often appear with a banner advert at the top. A popular trend is to replace it with a link to your wishlist at Amazon; if you like this blog, you can show your appreciation by getting me this book. These lists are already featuring books by bloggers themselves.

Last year, a survey of 3,000 blogs by the software company Perseus concluded that in the United States 91 per cent are maintained by those under 30 and 'the typical blog is written by a teenage girl who uses it twice a month to update her friends and classmates on happenings in her life'. It estimated that by the end of this year there will be a million web logs, although most won't last a year and, like clasped diaries in the physical world, the majority will be abandoned within a month.

As with real-life relationships, many run the natural course and burn out, closing with a moving note. Last Sunday, the following message appeared on the widely admired British site 'A Teenager Blogs': 'Well this is the end. When I started writing "A Teenager Blogs" in September 2002, it was with the intention that one day the memories kept here will be a lovely nostalgic look back at some of the best days of my life. It was just a bonus that people from Cowlyn Bay to Berlin, and Liverpool to Singapore read and liked the entries I wrote about me, people I care about, music and football and things I do and dream of doing.

'But I've reached a point where I feel I won't blog any more. The reason being is one main thing - I've realised the meaning of life. Or, as everyone's different, the meaning of my life. It is to make people, including myself, happy. Otherwise, simply, what is the point? It's time to get my head down and work my socks off if I'm going to have any sort of a successful future. Thanks for reading. Smile, and see you round. Max.'

'A Teenager Blogs' won a Guardian British Blog Award and was shortlisted for an international Bloggie. Last month, the Bloggie for Weblog of the Year was awarded to BoingBoing.net, a site which bills itself as 'a Directory of Wonderful Things' and recently included the following request for a fake girlfriend with a nice bottom, originally posted by a member of an online community in San Francisco:

'I'm having my parents come visit me sometime in the next two weeks and have lied and told them I am dating someone I am in love with. You will only have to come to one dinner. In exchange for this, I will buy you an iPod. Let me know if this interests you, and if you want to be in a loving relationship with all the benefits it brings. I want to pretend we are totally in love. I am 24, a grad student, Italian-American, [not a guido], athletic build. Send pics and I will send you mine. Note I check email basically every three hours. You should be in your twenties and athletic [great butt and legs are my main interest when I say athletic].'

Everyone has their own reason for putting their lives online. When Lynn Gomm became a pagan two years ago, she was advised to keep a record of the changes in her life and she saw no reason to keep this private. 'When you start keeping a blog you go in with one purpose and it tends to evolve into something else,' she told me. 'You begin doing it for yourself, and quite soon it becomes an interactive tool, and it's a way of communicating with others. It's exciting to get that initial feedback. You know, me a middle-class mum, and people want to read my blog and return to it and maybe link to it.'

She said that her writing style and content has been influenced by the reading of other blogs and from the occasional adverse reaction. She doesn't reveal as much personal detail as she once did and she doesn't name her children or post many photos. 'I had the bad experience that someone who I knew read what I was writing about and they misinterpreted it and took it personally. And it wasn't worth all the hassle. So I took that site down and reinvented myself with less detail.'

As with internet chatrooms, reinvention has become the blogging norm. Before I met her, Gomm sent me an email suggesting that in real life she may not be what I expected from her blog. She was, she warned me, 'a middle-aged Dawn French lookalike, with a wazillion kids and three psychotic dogs' (in the offline world, she works the evening shift at a Post Office sorting depot, deciphering illegible or inadequately addressed mail).

When we did meet, she told me there was a reason she had had only one personal encounter with her many blogging friends, a visitor from the United States. 'The meeting was OK, but the real person isn't of course the same person who writes. I think I'm more comfortable with the person I put onto the computer - I don't have to put on make-up and make a social effort. I tend to blog with people who blog like I do, but their lifestyle or educational background might mean that if we met we'd probably have nothing to say.'

Gomm told me the story of the blog written by a 13-year-old, recently orphaned British boy who was living with his 56-year-old grandfather. 'His grandfather had bought him this laptop and he was documenting his life. Lots of people were actively going to his blog and reading it, because this was a very articulate boy. And then he blogged that his grandfather had punished him, given him a spanking.

'There was uproar. I was confused. I thought that no modern 56-year-old would spank a boy - this was an intelligent man. I then found that the 13-year-old was actually a woman in the UK who was using the blog as a form of creative writing. She then became distraught that people were taking it so seriously. Some were talking about calling in the social services.'

A few days later, I met a 20-year-old man called Rob Hamilton at a Pizza Express in London's West Hampstead. He is a second-year law student at King's College and his blog, entitled 'Honestly, I'm Sober', keenly documents his pursuit of the four cornerstones of undergraduate life: alcohol, music, work and women.

I was attracted to it by its frank and funny stories (waking up on a night bus miles from home after too many Southern Comfort and lemonades at the Law Ball) and by one particularly disarming remark in his online biography.

'Relationships-wise for myself, there's nothing at all happening in my life on that front, and there hasn't been for over three years. Afraid I'm still virginal as well; 20 years old, and still a virgin. Not good.'

This may be the modern route to the sympathy lay, but I doubt it. In a long post last month, he wrote about his relationship with a fellow student and principal crush he calls Girl, and it has all the authentic fumbling uncertainties. He told me he was a fan of reality TV, and believes that blogging appeals to our desire to observe without contact. His blog began a year ago with his thoughts on Iraq, but 'since then it's just developed into just me'. He said that everything he wrote held true at the time, and he made a point of not editing his writing before he posted it; he saw no reason to put across an image.

'I think if I kept a private diary it would be pretty much the same. Some of my best writing comes from my more negative emotions; when I'm depressed or upset I write lots and it's generally the most interesting stuff. I always have been and always will be a very closed person - I get it from my dad. But in the blog, I can get things out of my system, bashing things out of the keyboard. There are other times when something really exciting has just happened and I have to rush home to write about it.'

Hamilton has a tracker installed on his site to record the number of daily visitors, and he gets about 25 hits a day (the big names - Belle de Jour, plasticbag.org, Troubled Diva, Scary Duck - get many hundreds, and the American news/politics blog InstaPundit.com, billed by Wired magazine as the most visited in the world, is viewed by more than 100,000 people daily.)

Recently, Hamilton's site acquired a new reader: Girl. 'I have a couple of lectures with her at King's,' he told me. 'One day, I got to the lecture early and I was scribbling a draft of my next post in a notebook and it was quite depressing because I'd had a bad couple of days. She asked if I wrote poetry, so I then explained to her about the blog and I gave her the address, which perhaps wasn't the best career move, and she started reading. I found out one day that she's been online and read through the whole archive. And so when I saw her after that I felt very strange, because she knew everything about me and I knew virtually nothing about her.'

How did she react?

'We're still friends. Something may happen. She reads it most days and it's hard to know how to phrase things sometimes.' Hamilton's other regular visitors are clearly hooked on the saga, and send him comments such as 'Got lucky yet, mate?' and 'That beard is prob stopping you getting laid, seriously, bet you're a good lad, so shave it off and get some decent clothes and don't wear the glasses so much'.

Regrettably, Girl is not keeping a blog of her own.

current song: Navy Blue - Rina Aiuchi

+ Shadow used her laptop at 10:57 PM + +

 
*I GOT IT BACK!!*


No, I didn't miraculously saved my lost picture from the clutches of the evil oekaki board, I just draw it again today.

I love this oekaki to pieces, I have to say it. It shows Kanon as usual, in a slightly... sexier setting than usual (?). My only peeve is that the coloring of the hair isn't as nice as the first time (it look a bit rushed/messed up to me -_-).

This poor oekaki has a sad history too.

I spend 136 minutes on it yesterday and -just- when I send it on the oekaki board, it crashed and lost my picture. Just like that, with no reasons. The damn board had logged me out when I tried to send it. And I had no screenshot of it.

I thought I was going to commit suicide.

Finally after much crying and yelling I found the courage (only god knows how) to redraw the pic today, not really believing it. And it actually worked! I thought I was never going to draw it like I did the first time, well I did and it look even better than before.

From now on I will screenshot every oekaki I made no matter what. X_x *dies*

Shadow -on her knees thanking the Lord above-

This is the oekaki I lost and redraw:



What can I say about those two? Pretty Kanon! *.*





This was was me playing around, I wanted a funny pic for once. ^^ RhadaxKanon!



current song: The Getaway - The Music

+ Shadow used her laptop at 2:04 PM + +